This is a legen-dairy collection of the best Cow Puns and Cow Jokes to amooose you! Enjoy your favorite cowmedians or jump straight to the specific “cow word”.
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Best Cow Puns and Cow Jokes
- What did the cow say to all her friends?
I am legen-dairy. - How do farmers count their cows?
They use a cowculator. - What do you get when a cow jumps in a trampoline?
Milkshake. - A cows favorite type of math is cowculus.
- Where did the bull lose all his money?
At the cow-sino. - Why did the farmer stop telling cow puns?
Because he butchered every joke. - Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd. - What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian. - Cow telling her family history:
“My grandfather was a knight. He was Sir Loin.” - I was going to tell you a joke about cows.
But I bet you have herd it. - What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef. - What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime. - Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.

Cow puns #bulls
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer. - Why don’t most cows lie?
They can smell bull. - Why was the farmer mad at his cow?
The excuse she gave was a bunch of bull. - Why were the two bulls ignoring each other?
They had a lot of beef. - Animal News Network had to fire its bovine news anchorman
Because it was unrelia-bull. - Why don’t bulls play archery?
They might hit a bulls-eye. - What did the bull say to his son when he was going off to school?
BISON!!!

Cow puns #udder
- What did the cow say to the other cow on the hill?
I’m udder-neath you. - Why don’t cows understand what you say?
Because it goes in one ear and comes out the udder! - What did the farmer say when his cow wouldn’t produce milk?
This is udderly problematic! - What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow?
Udder nonsense. - What did the Auntie cow say to her niece?
You’re so udderly cute! - Why did the chicken walk under the cow?
To get to the udder side. - How did the cow get to Mars?
It flew through udder space. - “I totally udderstand.”
- Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder. - Why do cows lie down in the rain?
To keep each udder dry. - Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?
It was an udder disaster. - All the farmers cows stopped producing milk…
It was a case of real udder chaos. - What do you call a short cow in tall grass?
Udderly tickled. - What do you call a cow who’s forgotten how to make milk?
Udder-ly confused. - What did the police officer arrest the cow for?
Disudderly conduct. - What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce milk?
An udder failure. - Did you hear that they genetically engineered a milk cow to have no teats?
It was udderly pointless. - This milk is udderly delicious.
Read also: 153 Un-bee-lievably Bee-autiful Bee Puns!

Cow puns #moo puns
- What do cows listen to at parties?
Moo-sic. - What do you call a cow who does magic?
Moo-dini. - What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf?
I am not amoosed by you. - What do you call the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before?
Deja-moo. - What do cows eat for breakfast?
Moosli. - Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
To make beautiful moo-sic. - What do you call a cow with no spots?
A Moo-tant. - What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos. - What’s a cow’s favorite sci-fi TV show?
Dr Moo! - How do you get a cow to keep quiet?
Press the moooote button. - What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A baaaaaaad mooooood. - How does a cow become invisible?
Through camooflage. - How do cows say “thank you” for dinner in Spanish?
Moo-chas grass-ias.
- What did the cow and bull do for their first date?
Dinner and a moovie. - What do you call a cow stuck in cement?
An immooooovable object. - Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals. - What does a cow watch?
MooTube. - Where do cows go on holiday?
Moo Zealand. - What do you call a cow that can part water?
Moo-ses. - How do cows laugh?
Moo-haha. - What’s a cow’s favorite day of the year?
Moo Years Day. - Why was the cow sad?
She was moody. - Why did the cow get a ticket?
Because of a mooing violation. - Why weren’t the cows in the field?
They Moooooved. - What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er - What is a cow’s favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
Must Read: 193 Best Dog Puns: Ulti-Mutt and Pur-fect Collection!

Cow puns #steak
- What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out. - What do you call the meat of a female cow?
A missteak. - My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana…
The steaks have never been so high! - Why can’t cows join the police?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs. - What do you call a cow that never traveled?
Stayk. - Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Cause that’s when the steaks are highest. - Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.
They’re always raising the steaks. - Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?
It was crazy, their lives were at steak.
Read also: 225 Best Christmas Puns that are Simply Tree-mendous!

Cow puns #calfs
- Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria. - What do you call a cow that just gave birth.
De-calf-nated
Cow puns #catle
- How do ranchers keep track of all their cows?
They keep a cattle-log. - What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A cattle battle.
Cow puns #stock
- What do you call cattle that tell jokes?
Laughing stock. - Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm. - How does a cow avoid acting rashly?
She takes stock of the situation first. - What did the farmer name his funniest cow?
The Laughing Stock.
Must Read: 175 Best Egg Puns That Are Simply Egg-ceptional

Cow Puns and Cow Jokes
- What did the cow confess to his therapist?
“I feel seen but not herd.” - Why did the cow start a fight with his buddy?
There was real beef between them! - Why was the cow so afraid of messing up?
Because the steaks were high. - What happens when a calf gives her mom attitude?
She tans its hide. - Why did the farmer always show up on time for dinner?
If he didn’t, his wife would have a cow. - What does the cow do when she’s got leverage?
Milks it for all it’s worth. - Why couldn’t the cow gain weight?
She was more of a grazer. - How did the bull earn the farmer’s trust?
He said, “Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?” - Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings?
They’re skin’s as thick as leather. - My wife left me for an Indian guy.
I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows. - What do you call a cow on crystal meth?
Beef jerky. - Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer’s hands were cold. - Why couldn’t the cow learn?
Everything went in one ear and out the udder. - What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?
Roost beef. - What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?
Hound beef. - What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime. - Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lack-tose. - What do you call two ducks and a cow?
Quackers and milk. - What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
- How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down. - Where do cows get all their medicine?
The farmacy. - Why did the farmer lose the race?
He fell at the curdle. - Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them?
In case they bypassed the milky way! - Why did the cow get a massage?
To re-hoove-inate. - What do you get when you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head. - Why did the secret service surround the president with dozens of cows?
They were trying to beef up security. - How can you tell if a cow is exceptional?
It’s outstanding in its field. - What do you call a cow with one leg shorter than the others?
Lean beef. - The farmer decided to cook the meanest cow he had…
It made excellent jerky! - Two cows are standing in a field…
Cow 1: are you worried about getting mad cow disease?
Cow 2: of course not… I’m not a cow! - What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
Mc Donald’s. - What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom. - It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces.
They’re officially labeled as Cowasockies. - What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A cow pi. - What do military cows wear?
CowMooFlage. - Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, silly. Cow says MOOOOOOOO. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow, wh-
MOOOOOO!!!! - Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Cow
Cow who?
Cow much longer will it take to open the door?!
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Cow puns about milk
- Why are cows always broke?
Someone’s always milking them dry. - It’s so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk!
- What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake! - The milk’s gone bad – it’s enough to milk you sick.
- Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the milky way!
- It is no cow-incidence that milk makes you stronger.
- How dair-y steal my milk!
- What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. - I can’t drink milk; I ‘lactose’ enzymes needed to digest it.
- Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry. - Not liking milk is a cream against nature!
- What you do get from a dwarf cow?
… condensed milk. - What kind of milk do you get from a forgetful cow?
Milk of amnesia. - What happens when a cow laughs?
Milk comes out of its nose. - I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips…
Yep. It’s called pasture-ized milk. - Want to hear a joke a bout milk… no it’s to cheesey.
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Cow puns #dairy
- What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen. - Why was the cow banned from ballet class?
It kept practicing its Dairy Air. - Where do cow farts come from?
From their dairy air. - What do cows tell each other at bedtime?
Dairy tales. - Did you hear about the famous cow?
They say her milk is Legend Dairy. - Cow farmers say their job is hard, but…
…I think they’re just milking it.

Cow puns #cheese
- What did the cow say to the cheese?
I am your father. - What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
Blue cheese. - What did the cow build it’s house out of?
Cottage Cheese
Continue to: 153 Best Cheese Puns That Are Simply Brie-lliant
Words to make cow puns of
- Coincidence → Cowincidence
- Cowoperation
- Cowefficient
- Cowconut
- Cowcaine
- Cowexistence
- Cowhabitation
- Cowherently
- Cowordinates
- Cowordinator
- Cowvert (covert)
- Alascow
- papricow
- remarcowble
- Americow can do better.
- Advocowte
- Africow
- Broadcowst
- Implicowtion
- Occowsion
- Applicowtion
- Indicowtion
- Dedicowte
- Cowtion
You can find more words like this here.
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