▷ 255 Best Christmas Puns that are Simply Tree-mendous!

Simply tree-mendous collection of the best Christmas puns that yule laugh out loud to! If you have a favorite Christmas word, you can jump straight to its category.

Obsah / Table of Contents

Funny Christmas Puns

“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
I’ll be ho-ho-home for Christmas.
“I love when candy canes are in mint condition.”
“Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.”
Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?
Holly-wood!
What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?
Christmas Chopin!
What is the most competitive season?
Win-ter!
“Your presents is requested.”
“But wait—there’s myrrh.”
“Resting Grinch face.”
“The snuggle is real.”
“The Christmas alphabet has Noel.”
“Yule be sorry.”
“Let’s have a jingle ball tonight!”
“What’s up, my Grinches.”
“She is my wrap queen, let her hit the bando.”

Elf Puns

“Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!”
“The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
“Believe in your elf.”
“I’m elf-taught.”
“Do you know your elfabet?”
“Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
“Let’s take an elfie.”
“Let’s get elf-ed up.”
“Get the elf out of here.”
What do baby elfs learn in Kindergarten at the North Pole?
The elf-abet.
“Don’t be elfish.”
“She has high elf-esteem.”
What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
Welfy!
“He’s an elf-made man.”
What cars do elves drive?
A ToyYoda.
“Treat yo’elf.“
Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
Why did the elf win the argument about his ears?
He had some good points.
What do you give a depressed elf?
An elf-help book.
“When I think about, I touch my elf.”
“Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
What kind of music do elves love the most?
Wrap.
Why did the elf hoard all the Christmas presents?
He was elfish.

Santa Puns

“What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.”
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
“That look soots you.”
“Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
“You’re my soul Santa.”
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
“How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
“A round of Santa-plause, please.”
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
“Claus allll of me… loves all of you.”
“Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.”
Where does Santa stay when he’s traveling?
A ho-ho-ho-tel.
What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!
“That is termination without Claus.”
How does Santa capture Christmas memories?
His North Pole-oroid.
“You were heaven-santa.”
“If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw their Christmas tree?
It looks okay, but you could Spruce it up a bit.
What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Chemistree.
What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!
What did Santa and Mrs. Clause name their daughter?
Mary Christmas.
What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
Santapplause!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

Christmas Tree Puns

“Did you know that the Christmas tree trend started because people thought it would spruce things up a bit?”
“I’m feelin’ pine.”
“Time to spruce things up.”
“Fir sure.”
“I’ll never fir-get.”
“These decorations are tree-mendous.”
“We have great chemis-tree.”
“Birch, please.”
“This tree is officially lit AF.”
“The tree and I are getting lit this Christmas.”
“Are you oakay? Yes, I’m pine!”
“Lighten up, it’s Christmas!”
“Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.”
What did one ornament say to another?
“I like hanging with you.”
“You have to branch out.”
“I love you a whole watt.”
Did you hear about the Christmas tree who could play guitar?
His name was Spruce Springsteen.
What is Snoop Dog’s favorite part of the holiday season?
The rapping paper.
“Can I get a watt watt?”
“Hey Christmas Tree, you got a lot of balls coming in here dressed like that.”
“I’m pine-ing for you.”
“One, Two, Tree!”
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!
“We’re orna-meant to be.”

Winter & Snow Christmas Puns

“It’s snow joke.”
“I told you snow.”
“Say it ain’t snow.”
“Up to snow good.”
“There’s snow place like home.”
“I only have ice for you.”
“He came, he thawed, he conquered.”
“This is snow laughing matter!”
“It was love at frost sight.”
“I’m snow bored.”
“Best in snow.”
How does a snowman get to work?
By icicle.
“It takes one to snow one.”
“Snow thank you.”
“OK, icy what you did there.”
“As it snow happens.”
“You snow the drill.”
What do snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
“Snow on and snow forth.”
“Icy what you did there.”
“It’s ice to meet you.”
“Have snow fear—Christmas is here! “
“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.”
“What’s the most popular breakfast cereal at the North Pole?
Ice crispies.”
Why can’t vampires bite snowmen?
They’ll get frostbite.

Sleight Christmas Puns

“Sleigh all day.”
“You sleigh me.”
“I have the final sleigh.”
“Santa can’t take a nonstop, he has to take a sleigh-over.”
“Sleigh what?!”
“Sleigh it isn’t so.”
“Sleigh something.”
Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!
“You’re sleigh-in’ it.”
“Sleigh queen, sleigh.”
“Sleigh anything.”
“Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.”
“Can’t afford it? Put it on sleigh-away.”
What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
This will sleigh you.

Reindeer Puns

“Say it to me face, I deer you.”
“Oh, deer.”
“I love the holiday season deerly.”
“Home, home on the rein… where the deer and the antelope play.”
“I have no ideer how’s it’s Christmas already.”
“Deer to dream.”
“Make it rein.”
Where do Santa’s reindeer like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen.
“How rude-olph of you.”
“Oh deer, Christmas is here.”
Did you hear about the group of reindeer who got into trouble?
Yeah, I herd.
What does Rudolph do when Santa drives too fast?
Hold on for deer life.
What do you call a reindeer ghost?
A cari-boo!

Mistletoe Christmas Puns

“I mistle-totally love you.
“Not having anyone to kiss during the holidays has taken a mistletoe-ll on me.
“For the perfect Christmas kiss, you need tic-tac-mistletoe.
“What is a Jedi’s favorite part of Christmas? Mistletoe-be Wan Kenobi.”
“I love you from head to mistletoe.”
“Here’s a mistletoe-ken of my appreciation.”
“Mistletoe the line.”
What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve?
You get a mistletow.
“What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.”
“A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”

Animal & Pet Christmas Puns

“Hairy Christmas!”
“Wishin you a dyno-mite Christmas and a roarin’ new year!”
“Merry Christmouse.”
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!
“Hap-Bee Holidays.”
“We fish you a merry Christmas.”
“Whale you kiss me under the mistletoe?”
“Have a Christmas like no otter.”
“I love bear-ing gifts.”
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
“Jungle bells, jungle bells…“
“Dachshund through the snow.”
“Thanks for bearing with me this holiday season.”
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
“It’s penguining to look a lot like Christmas.”
“Hoppy Holidays, all!”
What is a skunk’s favorite Christmas song?
Jingle smells.
“Baby it’s cold outside, Alpaca my sweater”
“Fleece Navidad”
What kind of fish do they have at the North Pole?
Jollyfish.
“All I want for Christmas is ewe.”
“Have a bear-y Christmas”
“Koala-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.”
“Kiss under the mistletoad”
“Merry Christmoose”
“Owl be home for Christmas.”
What is the cow’s holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas.
“Sending Christmas Fishes.”
“Fa La La La La, La La Llama.”
Why do people assume sheep hate Christmas?
They always say “bah humbug.”
How do sheep greet each other during the holidays?
Fleece Navidad!

Dog Christmas Puns

“Fleas Navidad!”
“Bah-Hum-Pug.”
“Look out for Santa Paws!”
“Happy howlidays!”
“Feliz navi-dog!”
“Deck the Halls with Bows on Collies.”
“Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.”
“We woof you a Merry Christmas.”
“Remember: don’t eat the yellow snow.”
Did you hear about the dog who wrote his own Christmas song?
It’s called dashchund through the snow.

Cat Christmas Puns

“Merry catmas!”
“Meowy Christmas!”
“All I want for Christmas is mew.”
“Have a meowy little Christmas.”
Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!
“Here comes Santa Claws, here comes Santa Claws…”
“Eat, drink, and be meowy.”
“Catty Canes.”
“Hope you have a Purr-fect Holiday season!”
“May your days be meowy and bright.”

Food Christmas Puns

“We whisk you a merry Christmas.”
“‘Tis the season to be jelly.”
“It’s Christmas Thyme!”
“Hap-pea holidays!”
“”the seasoning.”
“Merry Christ-mash.”
“Have a dill-lightful holiday.”
“So be good for goodness steak.”
“Guacin around the Christmas tree.”
“Cheeses is the reason for the season.”
“Let’s taco about Christmas.”
“I’m so egg-cited for the holidays.”
“Stay warm and toast-y this Christmas.”
“Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.”
What kind of linens to gingerbread men put on their beds?
Cookie sheets.
“The turkey wasn’t hungry at Christmas because he was already stuffed.”
What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?
Jolly ranchers.

Party Christmas Puns

“Have yourself a bloody mary Christmas”
“It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.”
“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas and a bubbly new year!”
“Let’s get blitzened!”
“Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.”
“Prosecc-Ho-ho-ho!”
“All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.”
“Gin-gle bells.”
“It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.”
“Hoppy Holidays!”
“All I want for Christmas is booze.”
“Raise your holiday spirits!”
“Merry Getsmashed!”
“Jingle bells, Zinfandel, need more cabernet.”
“Some people love eggnog, while others find it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Punny Christmas Jokes

“Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve?
They’re calling for rain, dear!”
What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve?
You get a mistletow.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why does Santa spend all summer gardening?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
Sandy Claus.
What’s the difference between a normal alphabet and the North Pole alphabet?
The North Pole has noeL.
What does alcoholic Santa rely on most?
His rein-beers.
What is the least trustworthy Christmas dessert?
Mince spies.
What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!
How does Ebenezer Scrooge get drunk?
On Christmas spirits.
How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
He has a black belt!
What do you say when you give someone a set of spices for Christmas?
Season’s greetings.
What would you get if you ate all the Christmas tree decorations?
Tinselitis.
How does Darth Vader know what everyone is getting for Christmas?
He’s felt their presents.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no-body to go with.
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!