Simply tree-mendous collection of the best Christmas puns that yule laugh out loud to! If you have a favorite Christmas word, you can jump straight to its category.
Funny Christmas Puns
- “What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
- I’ll be ho-ho-home for Christmas.
- “I love when candy canes are in mint condition.”
- “Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.”
- Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?
- What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?
- What is the most competitive season?
- “Your presents is requested.”
- “But wait—there’s myrrh.”
- “Resting Grinch face.”
- “The snuggle is real.”
- “The Christmas alphabet has Noel.”
- “Yule be sorry.”
- “Let’s have a jingle ball tonight!”
- “What’s up, my Grinches.”
- “She is my wrap queen, let her hit the bando.”
- “Don’t get caught elvesdropping on Santa!”
- “The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
- “Believe in your elf.”
- “I’m elf-taught.”
- “Do you know your elfabet?”
- “Have your elf a merry little Christmas.”
- “Let’s take an elfie.”
- “Let’s get elf-ed up.”
- “Get the elf out of here.”
- What do baby elfs learn in Kindergarten at the North Pole?
- “Don’t be elfish.”
- “She has high elf-esteem.”
- What would you call an elf who just has won the lottery?
- “He’s an elf-made man.”
- What cars do elves drive?
- “Treat yo’elf.“
- Who is Santa’s favorite singer?
- Why did the elf win the argument about his ears?
He had some good points.
- What do you give a depressed elf?
An elf-help book.
- “When I think about, I touch my elf.”
- “Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log.”
- What kind of music do elves love the most?
- Why did the elf hoard all the Christmas presents?
He was elfish.
- “What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.”
- “Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
- “Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
- “That look soots you.”
- “Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
- “You’re my soul Santa.”
- What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
- “How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!”
- “A round of Santa-plause, please.”
- “What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
- “Claus allll of me… loves all of you.”
- “Remember not to leave a fire burning in your fireplace this Christmas Eve, or else you might wake up to a Crisp Kringle.”
- Where does Santa stay when he’s traveling?
- What is Santa’s favourite place to deliver presents?
- “That is termination without Claus.”
- How does Santa capture Christmas memories?
His North Pole-oroid.
- “You were heaven-santa.”
- “If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.”
- “Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
- What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw their Christmas tree?
It looks okay, but you could Spruce it up a bit.
- What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
- What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!
- What did Santa and Mrs. Clause name their daughter?
- What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers?
- What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Christmas Tree Puns
- “Did you know that the Christmas tree trend started because people thought it would spruce things up a bit?”
- “I’m feelin’ pine.”
- “Time to spruce things up.”
- “Fir sure.”
- “I’ll never fir-get.”
- “These decorations are tree-mendous.”
- “We have great chemis-tree.”
- “Birch, please.”
- “This tree is officially lit AF.”
- “The tree and I are getting lit this Christmas.”
- “Are you oakay? Yes, I’m pine!”
- “Lighten up, it’s Christmas!”
- “Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.”
- What did one ornament say to another?
“I like hanging with you.”
- “You have to branch out.”
- “I love you a whole watt.”
- Did you hear about the Christmas tree who could play guitar?
His name was Spruce Springsteen.
- What is Snoop Dog’s favorite part of the holiday season?
The rapping paper.
- “Can I get a watt watt?”
- “Hey Christmas Tree, you got a lot of balls coming in here dressed like that.”
- “I’m pine-ing for you.”
- “One, Two, Tree!”
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!
- “We’re orna-meant to be.”
Winter & Snow Christmas Puns
- “It’s snow joke.”
- “I told you snow.”
- “Say it ain’t snow.”
- “Up to snow good.”
- “There’s snow place like home.”
- “I only have ice for you.”
- “He came, he thawed, he conquered.”
- “This is snow laughing matter!”
- “It was love at frost sight.”
- “I’m snow bored.”
- “Best in snow.”
- How does a snowman get to work?
- “It takes one to snow one.”
- “Snow thank you.”
- “OK, icy what you did there.”
- “As it snow happens.”
- “You snow the drill.”
- What do snowmen call their offspring?
- “Snow on and snow forth.”
- “Icy what you did there.”
- “It’s ice to meet you.”
- “Have snow fear—Christmas is here! “
- “What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.”
- “What’s the most popular breakfast cereal at the North Pole?
- Why can’t vampires bite snowmen?
They’ll get frostbite.
Sleight Christmas Puns
- “Sleigh all day.”
- “You sleigh me.”
- “I have the final sleigh.”
- “Santa can’t take a nonstop, he has to take a sleigh-over.”
- “Sleigh what?!”
- “Sleigh it isn’t so.”
- “Sleigh something.”
- Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
- “You’re sleigh-in’ it.”
- “Sleigh queen, sleigh.”
- “Sleigh anything.”
- “Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.”
- “Can’t afford it? Put it on sleigh-away.”
- What do reindeer say before they tell a joke?
This will sleigh you.
- “Say it to me face, I deer you.”
- “Oh, deer.”
- “I love the holiday season deerly.”
- “Home, home on the rein… where the deer and the antelope play.”
- “I have no ideer how’s it’s Christmas already.”
- “Deer to dream.”
- “Make it rein.”
- Where do Santa’s reindeer like to stop for lunch?
- “How rude-olph of you.”
- “Oh deer, Christmas is here.”
- Did you hear about the group of reindeer who got into trouble?
Yeah, I herd.
- What does Rudolph do when Santa drives too fast?
Hold on for deer life.
- What do you call a reindeer ghost?
Mistletoe Christmas Puns
- “I mistle-totally love you.
- “Not having anyone to kiss during the holidays has taken a mistletoe-ll on me.
- “For the perfect Christmas kiss, you need tic-tac-mistletoe.
- “What is a Jedi’s favorite part of Christmas? Mistletoe-be Wan Kenobi.”
- “I love you from head to mistletoe.”
- “Here’s a mistletoe-ken of my appreciation.”
- “Mistletoe the line.”
- What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve?
You get a mistletow.
- “What happens under the mistletoe stays under the mistletoe.”
- “A mistle-toast to the holiday season.”
Animal & Pet Christmas Puns
- “Hairy Christmas!”
- “Wishin you a dyno-mite Christmas and a roarin’ new year!”
- “Merry Christmouse.”
- What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!
- “Hap-Bee Holidays.”
- “We fish you a merry Christmas.”
- “Whale you kiss me under the mistletoe?”
- “Have a Christmas like no otter.”
- “I love bear-ing gifts.”
- What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
“Jungle bells, jungle bells…“
- “Dachshund through the snow.”
- “Thanks for bearing with me this holiday season.”
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
- “It’s penguining to look a lot like Christmas.”
- “Hoppy Holidays, all!”
- What is a skunk’s favorite Christmas song?
- “Baby it’s cold outside, Alpaca my sweater”
- “Fleece Navidad”
- What kind of fish do they have at the North Pole?
- “All I want for Christmas is ewe.”
- “Have a bear-y Christmas”
- “Kiss under the mistletoad”
- “Merry Christmoose”
- “Owl be home for Christmas.”
- What is the cow’s holiday greeting?
- “Sending Christmas Fishes.”
- “Fa La La La La, La La Llama.”
- Why do people assume sheep hate Christmas?
They always say “bah humbug.”
- How do sheep greet each other during the holidays?
Dog Christmas Puns
- “Fleas Navidad!”
- “Look out for Santa Paws!”
- “Happy howlidays!”
- “Feliz navi-dog!”
- “Deck the Halls with Bows on Collies.”
- “Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.”
- “We woof you a Merry Christmas.”
- “Remember: don’t eat the yellow snow.”
- Did you hear about the dog who wrote his own Christmas song?
It’s called dashchund through the snow.
Cat Christmas Puns
- “Merry catmas!”
- “Meowy Christmas!”
- “All I want for Christmas is mew.”
- “Have a meowy little Christmas.”
- Who delivers presents to cats?
- “Here comes Santa Claws, here comes Santa Claws…”
- “Eat, drink, and be meowy.”
- “Catty Canes.”
- “Hope you have a Purr-fect Holiday season!”
- “May your days be meowy and bright.”
Food Christmas Puns
- “We whisk you a merry Christmas.”
- “‘Tis the season to be jelly.”
- “It’s Christmas Thyme!”
- “Hap-pea holidays!”
- “”the seasoning.”
- “Merry Christ-mash.”
- “Have a dill-lightful holiday.”
- “So be good for goodness steak.”
- “Guacin around the Christmas tree.”
- “Cheeses is the reason for the season.”
- “Let’s taco about Christmas.”
- “I’m so egg-cited for the holidays.”
- “Stay warm and toast-y this Christmas.”
- “Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.”
- What kind of linens to gingerbread men put on their beds?
- “The turkey wasn’t hungry at Christmas because he was already stuffed.”
- What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?
Party Christmas Puns
- “Have yourself a bloody mary Christmas”
- “It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.”
- “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas and a bubbly new year!”
- “Let’s get blitzened!”
- “Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.”
- “All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.”
- “Gin-gle bells.”
- “It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.”
- “Hoppy Holidays!”
- “All I want for Christmas is booze.”
- “Raise your holiday spirits!”
- “Merry Getsmashed!”
- “Jingle bells, Zinfandel, need more cabernet.”
- “Some people love eggnog, while others find it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
Punny Christmas Jokes
- “Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve?
They’re calling for rain, dear!”
- What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve?
You get a mistletow.
- What nationality is Santa Claus?
- Why does Santa spend all summer gardening?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
- What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
- When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
- What’s the difference between a normal alphabet and the North Pole alphabet?
The North Pole has noeL.
- What does alcoholic Santa rely on most?
- What is the least trustworthy Christmas dessert?
- What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!
- How does Ebenezer Scrooge get drunk?
On Christmas spirits.
- How do you know Santa Claus is good at karate?
He has a black belt!
- What do you say when you give someone a set of spices for Christmas?
- What would you get if you ate all the Christmas tree decorations?
- How does Darth Vader know what everyone is getting for Christmas?
He’s felt their presents.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no-body to go with.
- What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
Christmas Puns on Popular Songs
- Bohemian Rhapsory → Bohemian Wrapsody
- Bootylicious → Sootylicious
- Call Me Maybe → Coal Me Maybe
- Enter Sandman → Enter Santaman
- Hollaback Girl → Ho Ho Hollaback Girl
- I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing → I Don’t Want To Mistletoe A Thing
- Let It Go → Let It Snow
- Say My Name → Sleigh My Name
- Single Ladies → Jingle Ladies
- Winter Wonderland → Winter Punderland
We hope you have enjoyed this collection and ff you don’t like those Christmas puns, you’re rude-olph!
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