277 Best Fish Puns and Jokes that are Absolutely Fin-tastic!

This is o-fish-all collection of so-fish-ticated Fish Puns and Fish Jokes. It can’t get any Betta than this! We have divided them into several categories, so you can jump straight to your favorit fish.

Enjoy this gill-iant collection and never trust unlicensed puns – always check they’re o-fish-al!

Best Fish Puns

  1. Let’s make this o-fish-all.
  2. I’m so so-fish-ticated.
  3. What a fish-ous rumor.
  4. I’m hooked!
  5. Fish better have my money!
  6. Best fishes on your birthday!
  7. Seems a bit fishy to me.
  8. We fish you a merry Christmas!
  9. You’re not quite up to scale.
  10. What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
  11. What is a day do all fish dread?
  12. What is the staple of a healthy fish’s diet?
    Plenty of vitamin sea.
  13. Why didn’t the fish pass their exams?
    They worked below C-level.
  14. What do you call a fish who doesn’t believe in violence?
    A pacifisht.
  15. What is the first lesson fish learn at school?
    The end of a hook is the point of no return.
  16. What did the fish say when everyone left his party?
    Tanks for coming.
  17. What’s the best fish to call when you need a ride?
    A seahorse.
Best Fish Puns

Bass Fish Puns

  1. I’m a bass-ic fish.
  2. DJs know how to drop that bass.
  3. Because I’m all about that bass.
  4. DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass.
  5. All I sea are bass-icaly cod awful puns!
  6. Sometimes dealing with fish is a pain in the bass.
  7. Who is the most underrated member in the fish band?
    Their bass player.
  8. What is a fish’s favorite musical instrument?
    The bass drum.
  9. That big mouth bass got caught by a fisherman.
    Now he is in a real boatload of trouble.
  10. What type of fish will never shut up?
    A big-mouthed bass.

Betta Fish Puns

  1. You betta believe it.
  2. Nothing get betta than this.
  3. You should know betta.
  4. Can you do any Betta than this?

Carps Fish Puns

  1. What a load of carp.
  2. Holy carp, it’s your birthday.
  3. Carp-e diem!
  4. Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
  5. Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp.
  6. Some fish just carp on and on.
  7. Oh what a load of carp.
  8. Holy carp we’re only halfway through the week.
  9. Where did Noah keep all of the fish? 
    In the multi-storey carp ark.
  10. How do fish go from hole to hole when they play golf?
    With a golf carp.
Bass Fish Puns

Cod Fish Puns

  1. Cod I borrow something from you?
  2. All I sea are bass-ically cod awful puns.
  3. Thank cod you’re here.
  4. I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
  5. Not bad, cod do better.
  6. I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
  7. Cod you pass me the salt?
  8. Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
  9. I wouldn’t be cod dead wearing that
  10. What did the magician say to the fisherman?
    Pick a cod, any cod!
  11. What swims in the sea, carries a gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
    The Codfather.
  12. What phrase is written on fish dollar bills?
    In cod we trust.
  13. What bit of fish doesn’t make sense?
    The piece of cod that passeth all understanding.
  14. What was the fish that stomped all over Japan?
  15. Who do fish pray to?
    Cod Almighty.

Eel Fish Puns

  1. How many fish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Only one, an electric eel.
  2. Why did the fish start a charity?  He was reely good at findraising.
  3. Cod that was bad, eely bad!
  4. What did the fish say when eels crashed his party?
    The Moray the merrier!

Fin Fish Puns

  1. Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
  2. Don’t listen to them, I think you’re fin-tastic!
  3. No fin is better than swimming with dolphins.
  4. What did the fish mathematician say?
    Numbers are in-fin-ite.
  5. What country would fish live in if they could survive on land?
    Finland of course!
  6. Why was the fish such a valuable employee at the charity?
    He was reely good at fundraising.
  7. What did the fish astronomer say?
    The universe is infinite.

Read also: 153 Un-bee-lievably Bee-autiful Bee Puns!

Fin Fish Puns

Fisherman Puns

  1. My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.
  2. This is a big issue a-monk fisherman.
  3. What do you say to a fisherman on his birthday?
    Hope you have a reely good day!
  4. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs? 
    Pier pressure.
  5. My father told me to never date a fisherman
    They’ll only string you along
  6. That fisherman is a very below-average boxer
    All he can throw are hooks.
  7. Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
    He was lost at C.
  8. Why is a fisherman so stingy? 
    Because his work made him sell-fish.
  9. I only fish on days that end in “Y.”

Gill Fish Puns

  1. I plead gill-ty.
  2. I need a gill-friend.
  3. That is absolutely gill-iant!
  4. We, the jury, find this site gill-ty of too many fish puns!
  5. Are you trying to gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?
  6. Don’t try to gillt trip me I know exactly what you’re doing.
  7. That scientist is gilliant!
  8. Why do fish always lose their court cases?
    They are always gill-ty.
  9. What did the romantic fish want? 
    A gill-friend.
  10. What’s the perfect fathers day gift for a fish?
    A barbecue gill.
  11. Why do lawyers hate having a fish as a client?
    They’re always gill-ty
  12. How do fish cook at their party?
    On a BBQ gill.

Goldfish Puns

  1. What is the most expensive kind of fish?
    A goldfish.
  2. What’s weirder than seeing a cat fish? 
    Seeing a goldfish bowl.
  3. Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt?
    Now he’s a bronze fish.
  4. Why are goldfish orange?
    The water makes them rusty!
  5. Where does a goldfish go on holiday?
    Around the globe.

Read Also: 155 Legen-dairy Cow Puns

Fisherman Puns and Jokes

Haddock Fish Puns

  1. Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
  2. I’m getting such a haddock.
  3. I’ve haddock with this place!
  4. If you keep pestering me I’m going to get a haddock.
  5. What happened when the fish listened to loud music?
     It gave him a haddock.

Halibut Fish Puns

  1. I like hali-butts and I cannot lie.
  2. I like to make fish puns just for the halibut.
  3. Why did the vegan go deep sea fishing?
    Just for the halibut
  4. What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder?
    Halibut we chat about it.

Koi Fish Puns

  1. Don’t be koi about it.
  2. Don’t be koi, tell me you fish puns.
  3. That joke was a bit koi.
  4. Why was the Japanese fish so bashful around his crush?
    He was feeling koi.
  5. Have you ever met a shy fish?
    They’re very koi.
  6. What do you call a fake koi fish?
    A de koi.

Krill Puns

  1. You’re krilling me, smalls.
  2. That’s absolutely krill-iant!
  3. I will love you for a krill-ion years
  4. Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now!
  5. I will love you for a krill-ion years
  6. What is the scariest thing in the ocean? A serial kriller.
Octopus Puns and Jokes

Minnow Fish Puns

  1. Let minnow if you can make it.
  2. If you can think of a better pun, let minnow.
  3. What did the fish say at the interview? Let minnow when you want me to start.

Nemo Fish Puns

  1. She’s my nemo-sis.
  2. You’ve met your nemo-sis.

Octopus Puns

  1. Why is an octopus always ready for war?
    They’re well-armed.
  2. Where do lady fish keep their money when they’re out and about?
    In an octurpurse.
  3. What do you use to make an octopus laugh?
  4. Who took the baby octopus for ransom?
  5. What do you call a fish that you bring to an event?
    An Octoplus one.
  6. Where do you find an octopus that’s going through a rough time?
    On squid row!
  7. How do you get an octopus to laugh?
    Give it tentacles.
  8. What do you get when you cross a jacket with an octopus?
    A coat of arms.
  9. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
    I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
  10. Why did the octopus cross the road?
    To get to the other tide.
  11. What do you call a fish that knows addition?
    An Octoplus.
  12. Who is the leader of the underwater transformers?
    Octopus Prime.
Best Fish Puns and Jokes

Salmon Fish Puns

  1. Salmon had to say it.
  2. I’m in love with salmon else.
  3. Salmon, call a doctor!
  4. Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.
  5. Why will fish never take responsibility? 
    Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
  6. What happens when you mix salmon and Nutella together?
    You get salmonella.
  7. What party game do fish like to play?
    Salmon Says.

Seafood Puns

  1. Holy Shrimp! This Scampi happening.
  2. Let’s all just clam down.
  3. Why is seafood healthy?
    It’s really good for the mussels.
  4. Did I tell you I checked out that new seafood restaurant?
    I’m totally hooked.
  5. What kind of seafood can you get in saunas?
    Steamed mussels.
  6. Did you hear about the chef in that extremely busy seafood restaurant?
    He had a lox on his plate.
  7. Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?
    He pulled a muscle.
  8. What are fishes favorite boy band?
    The new squids on the block.

Shark Fish Puns

  1. How did the shark get into college?
    Apparently, it got in on a scallop-ship!
  2. Why don’t sharks ever pay sticker price when they’re shopping?
    Because they are sale-fish.
  3. Scientists have just discovered that sharks can also squirt ink.
    Just squidding!
  4. Why was the shark so good at singing the blues?
    He’s had sole.
  5. What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
    You get a loan shark.
  6. What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
    He got lockjaw.
  7. What did the shark’s friends tell her when her relationship ended?
    There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
  8. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
    As far away as possible.
  9. Why did the shark cross the road?
    To get to the other tide.
  10. Did you hear about the newlywed shark couple?
    They are swimming along nicely.
Best Fish Puns and Jokes

Sole Fish Puns

  1. Looking for my sole mate.
  2. Off to do some sole searching.
  3. Who will be the sole survivor?
  4. I really believe that to the bottom of my sole.
  5. I can feel that in my sole.
  6. Why should fish never go into business together? 
    They work better as sole operators.
  7. How do fish walk?
    On their soles.
  8. Why do fish always give their best effort?
    They really put their heart and sole into everything.

Plankton Puns

  1. I’d make him walk the plankton for that.

Plaice Fish Puns

  1. This is neither the time, nor the plaice for this.
  2. What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
    I’m outta this plaice.
  3. What did Dorothy the fish say to get back to Kansas? 
    There’s no plaice like home.
  4. What did the fish say to his girlfriend?
    Your plaice or mine?
  5. Well now we’re just stuck between a rock and a hard plaice!
  6. Where do little fish go each day?
    They go to plaiceschool.
  7. What did the fish say when he moved in to his house? 
    Do you like my new plaice?
  8. I would tell you a joke about fish and herbs but… 
    This isn’t the thyme or plaice.
Tuna Fish Puns

Trout Fish Puns

  1. Don’t trout yourself.
  2. Get trout of here.
  3. Any fin is possible if you just trout yourself.
  4. This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick!
  5. When fish fly on rockets they go to trouter space.
  6. The way they handled that is a-trout-cious.
  7. What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
  8. Where do fish astronauts go?
    Into trouter space.

Tuna Fish Puns

  1. What a great oppur-tuna-ty!
  2. You can’t tuna guitar so you betta know how to play.
  3. Fish motivation. Seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
  4. You can tuna guitar but you can’t tune a fish.
  5. Fish favorite show?
    Tuna half men.
  6. What TV shows do young fish like?
  7. Why are fish so lucky? 
    They seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
  8. What game do fish like playing the most?
    Name that tuna!
  9. How do you tuna fish?
    Adjust their scales.
  10. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
    You might tune a piano, but you can never tuna fish.
  11. What do you call a fish that needs help singing?
  12. Who does the fish turn to when his piano stops working?
    The piano tuna.
Best Fish Puns and Jokes

More Fish Puns

  1. I feel great every day of the week, barramundi.
  2. I’m piranha roll! (On a roll or on parole).
  3. This is the first time I’m herring about it.
  4. That’s a load of pollucks.
  5. We all just need to clam down now; I’m a bit shell shocked.
  6. Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
  7. We whaley need to stop now!
  8. Life as a fish can be overwhalming.
  9. He really schooled you then.
  10. I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now.
  11. I fish upon a star.
  12. This blog has a future, there’s so much porpoise.
  13. We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns.
  14. Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.
  15. Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up!
  16. We’re swimming along nicely.
  17. Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
  18. Anyone else want to step up to the bait?
  19. Who wants to cuttle with me?
  20. What do you call a smelly fish?
    A stink ray.
  21. What do fish teachers say to their students?
    I’ve got to con-fish-cate your gum.

Sea and Ocean Puns

  1. What did the ocean say to the sand? 
    Nothing, it just waved.
  2. You have to sea this list of fish puns.
  3. Why did the restaurant sell bad fish?
    Long time no sea.
  4. Why can’t fish have romantic relationships?
    They are scared of intima-sea.
  5. Why did the fish get bad grades?
    Because it was below sea level.
  6. How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
    They listen to the current news.
  7. Who keeps the ocean clean?
    A mermaid.
Ocean puns

Fish Jokes

  1. Where do fish keep their money?
    In river banks.
  2. Where do go for a bath?
    To the river basin.
  3. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    A fsh.
  4. What type of music is best to hear while fishing?
    Anything catchy.
  5. What does a Kraken eat?
    Fish and ships.
  6. Why don’t fish play basketball?
    They’re afraid of the net.
  7. Why did the fish live at the bottom of the ocean?
    She dropped out of school.
  8. What do you say to a fish when it’s getting upset?
    You need to clam down.
  9. Why are fish so smart?
    They spend all their time in schools
  10. What do you call an aquatic social network?
  11. What’s the laziest fish in the world? 
    A Kipper.
  12. What do you call a naked fish?
  13. Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other,
    “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
  14. How do you avoid an infection from biting piranhas?
    Don’t bite them.
  15. Why do fish live in saltwater? 
    Pepper makes them sneeze.
  16. How do you make a fish chuckle?
    Tell a whale of a tale.
  17. What is a fish’s favorite pair of sunglasses? 
    Ray Bans.
  18. What fish stands out the most at night?
    A starfish.
  19. How do you reach out to a fish that you haven’t seen in a while?
    Just drop them a line!
  20. What fish gets the most speeding tickets? 
    A motor pike.
  21. How do seahorses move so quickly?
    They scallop.
  22. What type of fish did the Russia Tsar request for dinner?
  23. What do you call underwater organized criminals?
  24. Why do fish swim in schools?
    Because they can’t walk
  25. What’s the lowest ranked piece on the seaboard?
    The prawn.
  26. Where do fish store important documents?
    In a reef case.
  27. Why did the teenage fish get in trouble at school?
    He was using his shell phone during class
  28. What do you get if you cross a crab and a math teacher?
    Snappy answers
  29. Why is weighing a fish so simple?
    Because they come with their own scales
  30. Who takes care of injured fish?
    A sturgeon.
Best Fish Puns and Fish Jokes

Punny Fish Names

  • Tank Sinatra
  • Betta Midler
  • Fish Hemsworth
  • Bruce Gillis
  • Matthew McCodaughhey
  • Katie Current (Katie Couric)
  • Fish Evans
  • Fin Diesel
  • Anchovie Hopkins
  • James Pond
  • Gillie Eilish
  • Swim Shady
  • Betta White
  • Bepondce
  • Tuna Turner
  • Fish Pratt
  • Gill Smith
  • Marlin Monroe
  • Fish Pine
  • Marlin Brando
  • Gill Clinton
  • Mackerelmore
  • Leonardo DiCarpio
  • Guppi Goldberg
  • Fishtian Bale
  • Sharkira
  • Cod Stewart

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277 fin-tastic Fish Puns
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