739 Funny Instagram Captions to Copy – Paste (for 2024)

Do you need captions for your perfect Instagram picture? Definitely, use something funny! You will make people laugh and get a ton of likes!
Here is Your ultimate list of the best funny Instagram captions you can easily copy and paste and be an Instagram hero!

You will find the best funny captions for boys, girls, selfies, friends, couples, family, pets and more.

You can jump into your desired category using table of contents:

Best Funny Instagram Captions

  1. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  2. Reality called, so I hung up.
  3. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  4. I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  5. Running on caffeine and chaos.
  6. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  7. I told the snail to take off his shell, but he seemed a little sluggish.
  8. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  9. A blind man walks into a bar… And a table, and a chair.
  10. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  11. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
  12. I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
  13. I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  14. They say ‘Love is in the air.’ Maybe that’s why there’s so much air pollution.
  15. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
  16. The road to success is always under construction.
  17. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
  18. Today’s mood: Brought to you by coffee.
  19. My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
  20. I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box… I don’t even know where the box is.
I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it. Funny Instagram Captions

And more funny Instagram captions…

  1. If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
  2. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
  3. Can February March? No, but April May!
  4. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why you’re wrong.
  5. I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
  6. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  7. My life is basically dodging spoilers of my favorite shows.
  8. I’m not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens!
  9. I’m not procrastinating. I’m doing passive aggressive productivity.
  10. I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  11. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  12. If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
  13. Please cancel my subscription to your issues.
  14. Just a girl trying to make her dog proud.
  15. I’m multi-talented. I can talk and annoy you at the same time.
  16. I put the ‘elusive’ in ‘influencer.’
  17. If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
  18. I’ve peaked and I’m only 20.
  19. Just because I can’t dance doesn’t mean I shouldn’t dance.
  20. I’m not great at adulting, but I’m awesome at childishness.
I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year, Funny Instagram Captions

Must read335+ Best Instagram Captions from Song Lyrics

And more…

  1. I told my computer I needed a break, now it won’t stop sending me kit-tea memes.
  2. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m fantastic.
  3. This must be the Mondayest Tuesday ever.
  4. Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
  5. Why don’t skeletons go to scary movies? They don’t have the guts.
  6. The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.
  7. I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.
  8. The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.
  9. I’m not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  10. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  11. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  13. If you are what you eat, then I am fast, cheap, and easy.
  14. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
  15. I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
  16. If I was a cat, I’d spend all my nine lives with you.
  17. I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
  18. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  19. I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
  20. You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth!
Dear sleep, thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net. Funny Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Captions for Girls

  1. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  2. I’m not a shopaholic, I am helping the economy.
  3. I don’t dress up for boys. I dress up to stare at my reflection as I walk by store windows.
  4. I like long romantic walks down the makeup aisle.
  5. I’m not a princess, I don’t need saving. I’m a queen, I got this handled.
  6. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons.
  7. I am the mixture of a Cutie with a mission and Hottie with an ambition.
  8. Confidence level: Kanye West.
  9. I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
  10. I’m not bossy, I have leadership skills.
  11. I’ve got heels higher than your standards.
  12. I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort.
  13. I’m not a beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me.
  14. I may be a sweet girl, but… if you make me mad, I have a pocket full of crazy waiting to come out!
  15. I’m not lazy, just relaxed.
  16. My daily routine: Get up, Be brilliant, Go back to bed, Repeat.
  17. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  18. Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
  19. I’m a scuba diver in a sea of idiots.
  20. Some days, I can conquer the world. Other days, it takes me three hours to convince myself to shower.
  1. I am the queen of overthinking.
  2. I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
  3. My prince is not coming on a white horse… He’s obviously riding a turtle somewhere, really confused.
  4. They say don’t try this at home… so I went to my friend’s home!
  5. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  6. Throw sass around like confetti.
  7. I’m not arguing, I’m just telling you why I’m right.
  8. Why chase you when I’m the catch?
  9. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  10. I’m not a shopaholic, I’m helping the economy.
  11. I’m sweet, but you don’t want to mess with me.
  12. I am a girl. I don’t smoke, drink, or party every weekend. I don’t sleep around or start drama to get attention. Yes, we still do exist.
  13. I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
  14. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  15. I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.
  16. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  17. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  18. I don’t sweat—I sparkle.
  19. Cinderella never asked for a prince, she asked for a night off and a dress.
  20. A sass a day keeps the basics away.

Check also these: 795 Best Instagram Captions for Girls.

I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome. Funny Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Captions for Boys

  1. I didn’t come here to lose.
  2. Fresh out of the shower, no makeup yet.
  3. Making the Snaccident look intentional.
  4. They say good things take time, but great things happen in a blink of an eye.
  5. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  6. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  7. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  8. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  9. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  10. I don’t age, I level up.
  11. I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  12. It’s not a phase mom, it’s who I am.
  13. Why blend in when you were born to stand out?
  14. Professional over-thinker.
  15. I still don’t understand Instagram, but here I am anyway!
  16. I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
  17. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  18. I may be a bad influence, but damn I am fun!
  19. Too rad to be sad.
  20. They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friend’s home.
  1. Just a boy doing his best to not say the wrong thing.
  2. I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.
  3. Do I run? Yes… Out of patience, fumes and money.
  4. I put the ‘elusive’ in ‘influencer’.
  5. With great power comes great electricity bill.
  6. I’m not here to fit into your world. I’m here to make my own.
  7. Man of the year.
  8. If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.
  9. I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation… twice a year.
  10. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  11. I’m not a snack. I’m a garden. Take care of me and you can have me forever.
  12. I’m not great at adulting, but I’m awesome at childishness.
  13. Hating me doesn’t make you pretty.
  14. It’s not a dad bod, it’s a father figure.
  15. Rolling with the homies.
  16. I’m not smart; I just wear glasses.
  17. I’m like coffee: dark, bitter and too hot for you.
  18. This reality is too much to take in, so I’ll be in my own world if anyone needs me!
  19. Don’t check for me unless you have a check for me.
  20. A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A dumb person creates it.

Check also these: 753 Best Instagram Captions for Boys

Friends don’t let you do crazy things…alone. Good Captions

Funny Instagram Captions for Selfies

  1. I’m a selfie royalty. Now bow before your queen!
  2. This is proof that I can do selfies better than you.
  3. My skin and bones have seen better days.
  4. Just a pic of me being an idiot.
  5. It’s not a phase, it’s who I am.
  6. My mascara is too expensive to cry over stupid boys like you.
  7. Life is short. Make every selfie count.
  8. I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome!
  9. I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort.
  10. I’m a selfie expert.
  11. Sent this selfie to NASA, because I’m a star.
  12. I don’t need any part-time people in my life.
  13. My favorite part of the day is going to bed with makeup and waking up beardless.
  14. Does this selfie make me look fat?
  15. It’s not called being bossy, it’s called having leadership skills.
  16. I’m not sure what to do with my hands.
  17. I was born to shine.
  18. Proof that I can do selfies better than you.
  19. I have no selfie control.
  20. I was cool until global warming made me hot.
  1. I’m on a diet, I swear!
  2. Not a selfie person, but here we go!
  3. My selfie game is strong.
  4. Warning: You might fall in love with me.
  5. I was born to stand out.
  6. Coffee and confidence.
  7. I’m not lazy, just relaxed.
  8. I woke up like this.
  9. A selfie a day keeps the doctor away.
  10. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  11. I’m not sure what to do with my face.
  12. May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.
  13. Why so serious?
  14. I’m a model… Well… an Instagram model. Same thing right?
  15. I was going to take over the world this morning but I overslept.
  16. It’s called a ‘selfie’ because ‘narcissistie’ is too hard to spell.
  17. I don’t always take selfies, but when I do…
  18. I need a lot of high five’s… in the face… with a chair.
  19. Best. Selfie. Ever.
  20. I’m not lazy, just on my energy-saving mode.

Must read: 315 Best Instagram Captions for Selfies

If I send you ugly selfies, our friendship is real.

Funny Instagram Captions for Friends

  1. We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.
  2. Friends knock on your door. Best friends walk into your house and start eating.
  3. We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.
  4. We go together like drunk and disorderly.
  5. Friendship is about finding people who are your kind of crazy.
  6. I hope we’re friends until we die. Then, I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the crap out of people.
  7. Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.
  8. I love my crazy, goofy, stupid, gorgeous, weird, lame, socially challenged friends.
  9. Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
  10. We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much.
  11. Finding friends with the same mental disorder: priceless!
  12. Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.
  13. We are best friends. Remember, if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.
  14. We don’t see any competition.
  15. I can’t really see another squad trying to cross us.
  16. No one will ever be as entertained by us as us.
  17. We don’t sweat, we sparkle.
  18. Real queens fix each other’s crowns.
  19. Life was meant for best friends and good adventures!
  20. We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.

And more funny Instagram captions for friends

  1. True friendship is posting the photo you look good in and I look bad in.
  2. Best friends are the people in your life that make you laugh louder, smile brighter, and live better.
  3. A good friend knows all your stories; a best friend helped you write them.
  4. Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can’t, they lie down with us and listen for a while.
  5. Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.
  6. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you.
  7. Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.
  8. We’re more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.
  9. I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
  10. We’ve been friends for so long I’ve forgotten which one of us is the bad influence.
  11. Friends ’til the end… and then some.
  12. My friends are the most weirdest, most craziest people I know but I love them.
  13. I love that I don’t have to act socially acceptable around you.
  14. True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together!
  15. Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.
  16. Friends don’t let friends do silly things… alone.
  17. We are going to be really cool old people, aren’t we?
  18. We’re more than friends, we’re like a really small gang.
  19. Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
  20. I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.

Must read: 317 Best Instagram Captions for Friends

Finding friends with the same mental disorder. Priceless!! Funny Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Captions for Couples

  1. We go together like cupcakes and frosting.
  2. Our road to forever just has a few bumps.
  3. Love is being stupid together.
  4. Every day is a love day.
  5. Sorry, we can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome we are together.
  6. We’re the definition of relationship goals.
  7. You’re my favorite distraction.
  8. We go together like coffee and donuts.
  9. We just baked a lovely batch of couplegoals.
  10. Together, we’re an endless romantic comedy.
  11. We’re both willing to risk the cooties.
  12. We’re so awesome, even our couple selfies are epic.
  13. I love you even when you steal the blankets.
  14. With you, life’s a rollercoaster I want to stay on.
  15. I’m in a relation-chip… and I’ve eaten all the chips.
  16. You’re the cheese to my macaroni.
  17. When I’m with you, hours feel like seconds. When we’re apart, days feel like years.
  18. We go together like peanut butter and jelly.
  19. I’m willing to risk the cooties if you are.
  20. I find the most beautiful moments of life aren’t just with you but because of you.
  1. We go together like copy and paste.
  2. We’re a cute tomato.
  3. Every day is a valentine day with you, except we don’t expect gifts every day.
  4. You’re the only person I would share my snacks with.
  5. Together, we can make anything look good.
  6. We are the ‘She’ to my ‘Nanigans’.
  7. You’re the type of person I’d make a sandwich for.
  8. We take the term ‘partners-in-crime’ very seriously.
  9. I love you, even when I’m hungry.
  10. Together we are complete chaos.
  11. We’re like a four-leaf clover. You’re the C and I’m the R, and there’s love in between us.
  12. We create a mean team together.
  13. You’re the avocado to my toast.
  14. Our relationship is like a cup of tea… a special blend of you and me!
  15. Forget the butterflies, I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you.
  16. I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot.
  17. A relationship is when one person is always right and the other person is the boyfriend.
  18. The peanut butter to my jelly.
  19. We’re not perfect, but we make a perfect combination.
  20. With you, every moment is sweet and memorable.
Let’s commit the perfect crime. I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine. Good Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Captions about Pets

  1. Anything is paws-ible with a dog by your side.
  2. My cat thinks he’s the king of the house.
  3. Pets: The only members of your family you actually like.
  4. My dog’s only flaw is not living forever.
  5. Yes, I am a crazy dog lady. Problem?
  6. Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
  7. I love my puppy more than I love most people.
  8. I just want to pet all of the dogs.
  9. I’m not a regular mom, I’m a dog mom.
  10. My dog is cooler than your dog.
  11. I’m a smitten kitten.
  12. Caution: Dogs can’t hold their licker.
  13. My pet deserves all the treats.
  14. If I fits, I sits.
  15. My cat is not impressed.
  16. Life is ruff when you’re this cute.
  17. I’m not spoiled, my master is just well trained.
  18. Who needs friends when you have a dog?
  19. I live for the appaws.
  20. The more men I meet, the more I love my dog.
  1. I’m pawsome and I know it.
  2. What’s up, dog?
  3. I’ve got the purr-fect life.
  4. I’m not single. I have a dog.
  5. I’m a su-paw-star.
  6. Dog hair is my glitter.
  7. I work hard so my dog can have a better life.
  8. Home is where the dog hair sticks to everything but the dog.
  9. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right, says my dog.
  10. Cat hair, don’t care.
  11. My pet is my favorite family member.
  12. The road to my heart is filled with paw prints.
  13. Yes, I really do need all these cats.
  14. Dogs are my favorite people.
  15. I believe in dog.
  16. Life is better with the dogs.
  17. I’m only speaking to my dog today.
  18. My dog does this amazing thing where he just exists and makes my whole life better because of it.
  19. My windows aren’t dirty, that’s my dog’s nose art.
  20. I wonder if my dog always follows me into the bathroom because I always follow him outside.

Funny Instagram Captions for Work

  1. Work: Where I earn my beans.
  2. I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.
  3. I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.
  4. Everyday is a fashion show and the world is my runway. Except for today. Today I’m wearing a nice shirt over pajama bottoms.
  5. Currently holding it all together with a paperclip and a sticky note.
  6. I’m out here hustling to claim what’s left of my sanity.
  7. This might look like work, but it’s all play.
  8. My job is secure. No one else wants it.
  9. If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.
  10. I am currently experiencing life at 25 WTFs per hour.
  11. How do I like my eggs? Uhm, in a cake.
  12. Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.
  13. I’m starting to think that I will never be old enough to know better.
  14. If I got paid for every overtime hour I’ve worked, I could retire.
  15. I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  16. Stress level: Kim Kardashian losing an earring in the ocean.
  17. Work tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.
  18. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
  19. Work hard so you can shop harder.
  20. I work hard to support my coffee addiction.
  1. I am not a morning person.
  2. I wish ‘work from home’ meant ‘work from bed’.
  3. My alarm clock is clearly jealous of the amazing relationship I have with my bed.
  4. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  5. Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so near to Monday?
  6. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and stare at it for hours.
  7. If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.
  8. I’m not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy.
  9. The closest I’ve been to a diet this year is erasing food searches from my browser history.
  10. I need a coffee the size of my to-do list.
  11. I’m on a whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already.
  12. I didn’t choose the cubicle life. The cubicle life chose me.
  13. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  14. I wish there was a ‘maybe’ option on meeting invites.
  15. If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a doughnut.
  16. The human body is 90% water so we’re basically just cucumbers with anxiety.
  17. I’m not procrastinating. I’m doing passive aggressive productivity.
  18. My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home.
  19. I’m not running late like this is early for tomorrow.
  20. Help wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

Funny Instagram Captions for Weekend Vibes

  1. Better days are coming. They are called: Saturday and Sunday.
  2. Weekend forecast: mild alcoholism with a 70% chance of poor decisions and poor judgment.
  3. I haven’t been this excited about Friday since last Friday.
  4. Dear weekend, I’ve missed you. Where have you been all week?
  5. Can we start the weekend over again? I wasn’t ready.
  6. I’m not a weekend alcoholic. I only drink Monday through Friday.
  7. I work mostly to pay for my next weekend adventure.
  8. Weekends don’t pay as well as weekdays but at least there’s football.
  9. Weekend vibes are kicking in.
  10. Weekends are for the warriors.
  11. The only Happy END that I know: it’s the weekEND!
  12. Better days are coming… they are called Saturday and Sunday.
  13. Weekend plans: Eat, Sleep, Repeat.
  14. Raise your hand if you’re ready for the weekend to come 50% sooner.
  15. It’s the weekend. Time to go make stories for Monday.
  16. My weekend is all booked.
  17. Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate.
  18. No weekend, all weakened.
  19. I haven’t been this excited about the weekend since last weekend.
  20. I’m smiling because it’s Friday.
  1. Weekend calories don’t count.
  2. It’s the weekend, this is as dressed as I get!
  3. Sunday Funday > Monday Mundane.
  4. Saturday and Sunday, I am in love with you.
  5. I wish weekend grew on trees.
  6. Weekend, are you still thinking about me?
  7. Saturday, what’s it like being everyone’s favorite day?
  8. Weekends are meant for adventures.
  9. I’m on the gin and tonic diet. So far I’ve lost 2 days.
  10. Weekends are sacred for me. They’re the perfect time to relax and spend time with family and friends.
  11. Keep calm, it’s the weekend.
  12. Why wait for the weekend to have fun?
  13. I’m learning the power of going away for the weekend and keeping myself company.
  14. Hello, weekend. May I hug you?
  15. The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
  16. I love the weekends, like everyone else.
  17. It’s going to be a bumpy weekend, better fasten your seat belts.
  18. My weekend was a total waste of makeup.
  19. It’s weekend. Remember to count blessings, not your troubles.
  20. I don’t discriminate. I love weekdays and weekends.

Funny Instagram Captions for Family Gatherings

  1. Family: Where life begins and love never ends… and the craziness is sure to commence.
  2. Family gatherings: The only time you experience love and dysfunction simultaneously.
  3. We put the fun in dysfunctional.
  4. Remember, as far as anyone knows, we are a nice, normal family.
  5. Family: A little bit of crazy, a little bit of loud, and a whole lot of love.
  6. Family ties make for better knots.
  7. My family is temperamental. Half temper, half mental.
  8. Why is family one syllable but relatives is three?
  9. Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a lot of nuts.
  10. Our family is just one tent away from a full-blown circus.
  11. I shook my family tree and a bunch of nuts fell out.
  12. Family gatherings: Where you learn new things about relatives you forgot you had.
  13. The more the merrier… unless it’s a family reunion.
  14. With my family, I wanted a relaxing holiday… I guess I should have been more specific.
  15. Reuniting with the relatives… I now remember why we dispersed.
  16. I smile because we are family. I laugh because there’s nothing we can do about it.
  17. Just when you think you know it all, your cousin walks in.
  18. Family: We may not have it all together, but together we have it all… and all the nuts.
  19. Happiness is homemade… so is the chaos.
  20. Family reunions are where you see how far the apple actually fell from the tree.
  1. I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
  2. Just remember, you can’t choose your family but you can choose the coping mechanism.
  3. Family: People you can always count on to borrow money from.
  4. Family: Where you learn to love, laugh, and share… and where you learn to deal with the craziness.
  5. The best family gatherings are filled with love and laughter… and a touch of madness.
  6. Nothing like family gatherings to remind us that complete sanity is overrated.
  7. I inherited the family gathering survival gene.
  8. Our family motto is: When in doubt, make funny faces!
  9. Holding a family meeting when the Wi-Fi goes down.
  10. Family – Where you will always find comfort… and a little craziness.
  11. Gather round kids, it’s time for the annual awkward family photo.
  12. In our family, we don’t hide crazy… we parade it on the front porch and give it a cocktail!
  13. With family, you tolerate, celebrate, and aggravate.
  14. Our family tree has some twisted roots… and a few nuts!
  15. Family is where the unexpected becomes the unforgettable.
  16. Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
  17. Family gatherings are the ultimate test of emotional endurance.
  18. Yes, we share genes and jeans.
  19. Family: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
  20. Nothing says holiday like a family gathering in a small space.

Funny Instagram Captions for Foodies

  1. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
  2. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  3. I like hashtags because they look like waffles (#).
  4. Life is a combination of magic and pasta.
  5. My head says gym but my heart says tacos.
  6. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  7. I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  8. I’m not a vegetarian, I’m a dessertarian.
  9. I’m sorry for the things I said when I was hungry.
  10. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
  11. There’s no we in fries.
  12. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
  13. If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
  14. If food were free, why work?
  15. I only came for the food.
  16. Calories don’t count on the weekend.
  17. Don’t be eye candy, be soul food.
  18. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.
  19. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.
  20. I’ve been thinking about it, and I think it’s true. Food is my soulmate.
  1. Body type: not terrible but definitely enjoys pasta.
  2. I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food.
  3. I love the days when my only problem is choosing between chocolate and vanilla.
  4. I’m not gaining weight. I’m retaining food.
  5. I’m on that seafood diet where I see food and I eat it.
  6. I think my soulmate might be carbs.
  7. Carbs might be my soulmate.
  8. I keep hearing the terms “exercise” and “eating healthy” but I’m certain they don’t mean anything.
  9. I’m into fitness…fit’ness taco in my mouth!
  10. Is it just me or does this meal look more appealing than my ex?
  11. Food is my favorite F word.
  12. I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.
  13. I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
  14. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
  15. I’m not drooling, you are!
  16. Slicing a loaf of bread is a loaf of fun.
  17. I find that food occupies most of my time, which is why I don’t have time for diets.
  18. Brunch without champagne is just a sad breakfast.
  19. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  20. Relationship status: Hungry.
Wine is always the answer. What was the question again? Best Instagram Quotes

Funny Instagram Captions for Travel

  1. I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.
  2. I travel because you can always get more money, but you can never get more time.
  3. I’ve got a bad case of wanderlust.
  4. I’m in a relationship with my passport.
  5. Work, Travel, Save, Repeat.
  6. Vacation calories don’t count.
  7. I’m not lost. I’m exploring.
  8. A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.
  9. Jet lag is for amateurs.
  10. Catch flights, not feelings.
  11. I need vitamin sea.
  12. I follow a strict diet of eat, sleep, and adventure.
  13. I’ve got a crush on the world.
  14. I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure.
  15. I’m not a great navigator, but I can tell you the exact location of every food place in the vicinity.
  16. My favorite memory from childhood is my parents paying for my vacations.
  17. I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.
  18. Don’t be a tourist, be a traveler.
  19. Let’s wander where the WiFi is weak.
  20. Life is short, the world is wide, and I want to make some memories.
  1. BRB, going to chase the sun.
  2. I do believe it’s time for another adventure.
  3. The only trip you will regret is the one you don’t take.
  4. Travel far, enjoy the snacks, and come home broke.
  5. I would rather have a passport full of stamps than a house full of stuff.
  6. I am not the same, having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.
  7. Travel: the best way to be lost and found all at the same time.
  8. Travel is the only thing you can buy that makes you richer.
  9. Adventure, here we come!
  10. I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m on the road to the airport.
  11. I want to make memories all over the world.
  12. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
  13. I’ve got a crush on the world.
  14. My goal is to run out of pages in my passport.
  15. Just wing it. Life, eyeliner, everything.
  16. I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.
  17. Tropic like it’s hot!
  18. Vacation mood: on.
  19. I travel so my life isn’t disrupted by routine.
  20. Wherever you go, go with all your heart!

Funny Instagram Captions for Fitness and Gym

  1. I wear all black to the gym because it’s like a funeral for my fat.
  2. I’m allergic to the gym. I get sweaty and short of breath.
  3. Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.
  4. Sore today, sorry tomorrow.
  5. The only running I do is running out of patience.
  6. My gym routine: 20% working out, 80% pretending to look busy.
  7. I got 99 problems, but I’m going to the gym and ignoring all of them.
  8. You can’t flex fat so I guess I’ll have to diet and exercise.
  9. Fitness? More like fitness whole donut in my mouth!
  10. I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  11. I lift so I can eat more!
  12. My abs are just shy.
  13. I do lunges but only if I drop something and have to pick it up.
  14. I’m trying to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s just not working out.
  15. Will exercise for tacos.
  16. I do a thing called what I want.
  17. I’m working on myself, for myself, by myself.
  18. I’m in a relationship with gym.
  19. I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and pray for a miracle.
  20. Sweat looks good on you!
  1. I’m not here to talk.
  2. I’m doing this for me.
  3. Sweat is just fat crying.
  4. I bend so I don’t break.
  5. Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.
  6. I’m here to lift heavy things.
  7. I got 99 problems but I’m going to the gym to ignore them all.
  8. I workout just kidding I chase toddlers.
  9. I work out because I like to eat.
  10. Is it OK if I don’t run?
  11. I go to the gym to relieve my stress, then stress about going to the gym. It’s a vicious cycle.
  12. Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
  13. If you still look cute after the gym, you didn’t work out hard enough.
  14. Gym Rule #1: If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most.
  15. My idea of a workout is a good brisk sit.
  16. I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training.
  17. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
  18. I’m just here to see if my friends on Facebook were telling the truth about going to the gym.
  19. I like to think of the gym as me time.
  20. Running late counts as exercise, right?

Funny Instagram Captions for School or College

  1. I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I still don’t.
  2. I was studying for my finals, and I realized finals are my weakness, so I stopped studying.
  3. When in doubt, go to the library.
  4. I put the ‘elusive’ in ‘influencer.’
  5. I’m currently holding a GPA giveaway.
  6. College life would be great if it weren’t for the classes.
  7. I’d pass my classes with flying colors if only ‘sleeping’ were a subject.
  8. I’d like to thank coffee for getting me through this semester.
  9. Current mood: done with everyone.
  10. I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got lost on the way back, now I have no idea what’s going on.
  11. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a math problem, asking for it to solve itself.
  12. Home is where the textbooks are.
  13. Can I put ‘daydreamer’ on my resume?
  14. When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning so I don’t have to go to class first.
  15. I spend more time with my textbooks than with people.
  16. College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
  17. I would cry but I don’t want to smudge my mascara before my professor sees me.
  18. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m excited.
  19. Running on caffeine and no sleep.
  20. Sleep deprivation, over-caffeination, procrastination.
  1. I can’t even school.
  2. College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
  3. Group projects make me understand why Batman works alone.
  4. I was first in my class…alphabetically speaking.
  5. Homework – the teacher’s way to know how smart the parent is.
  6. I don’t always study, but when I do, I don’t.
  7. I googled the answers and still failed the test.
  8. I don’t hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
  9. I’m not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  10. School is pointless: English, we speak it; History, they’re dead; Math, we have calculators; Spanish, we have Dora.
  11. Some days I just can’t even spell college.
  12. College: because high school was too easy.
  13. I’ve been reading Shakespeare. If I’d been born a few hundred years ago, I’d only have three years to live.
  14. College looked so much easier on TV.
  15. I go to college to have a good time, not a long time.
  16. Yes mom, I’m studying takes a buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of pizza I am
  17. I did the math, we can’t afford the cat.
  18. Why did I take this class again?
  19. When you’ve got a 8am class so you put your alarm every 5 minutes from 6am to 7.55am.
  20. I love the smell of possibility in the morning…oh wait, that’s coffee.

Read also: 573 Funny Instagram Bio Ideas You Should Use (to Stand Out)

Funny Instagram Captions for Holidays

  1. It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.
  2. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
  3. I’m only a morning person on December 25th.
  4. I’m on the naughty list.
  5. The tree isn’t the only thing getting lit this year.
  6. It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.
  7. But first, let’s bake cookies.
  8. I’m like a candy cane, sweet and twisted.
  9. All the jingle ladies, all the jingle ladies.
  10. Dear Santa, I can explain…
  11. I’m full of holiday spirit. It’s called vodka.
  12. I’m ready to sleigh the day.
  13. Have yourself a sandy little Christmas.
  14. Me every day: slay. Me in December: sleigh.
  15. This is my resting Grinch face.
  16. Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
  17. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way to the wine store.
  18. Drink up Grinches, it’s Christmas.
  19. You can find me under the mistletoe.
  20. Believe in your elf.
  1. There’s snow place like home.
  2. Single and ready to jingle.
  3. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
  4. Yule be sorry if you don’t enjoy the holidays.
  5. Fleece Navidad!
  6. Up to snow good.
  7. Let’s get lit menorah.
  8. Happy Challah-days.
  9. Bah humbug!
  10. Too lit to quit.
  11. Ho, Ho, Ho…pour the merlot.
  12. More peppermint please.
  13. It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
  14. New Year, Same Me.
  15. I’m only a morning person on December 25th.
  16. Gingerbread men with a brand new whip.
  17. Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
  18. Sleigh-in it.
  19. All spruced up.
  20. Feliz Navi-dog.
Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I'll buy my own stuff. Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Captions for Birthdays

  1. Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
  2. I’m not getting older. I’m getting better.
  3. Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying me.
  4. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.
  5. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
  6. It’s my birthday week! I accept presents all month long.
  7. I’m just here for the birthday cake.
  8. I can’t keep calm, it’s my birthday!
  9. Another year older, none the wiser.
  10. Making the Snaccident (eating an entire pizza by mistake) happen.
  11. Found this old baby pic of me!
  12. It’s the one day of the year where I like to party as hard as I adult.
  13. Hold on to your inner child as you grow older.
  14. I’m not old, I’m vintage.
  15. Birthdays are the universe’s way of celebrating you.
  16. Well, at least I am not as old as I will be next year!
  17. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
  18. I’m so awesome, when I was born, I was given a certificate.
  19. I don’t get older, I level up.
  20. They say age is just a number… but personally, I think it’s a load of crap.
  1. New age, same me… because I’m already awesome.
  2. I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.
  3. I’m just a whole year more incredibler.
  4. Birthdays are just finger posts on the road of getting old.
  5. I didn’t choose the thug life, it chose me.
  6. It’s my birthday, I can wine if I want to.
  7. I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic.
  8. Age is merely a number of how long the world has been enjoying me.
  9. Birthdays are like software updates… sometimes I’m excited, other times I think, not again!
  10. Hold on to your inner child as you grow older.
  11. It’s my birthday and I can wine if I want to.
  12. I’m not old, I’m youthfully challenged.
  13. On this day, a queen was born.
  14. Of course, I don’t know how to act my age. I’ve never been this age before!
  15. Birthdays are just your way of gathering experience points to level up in life.
  16. Birthdays are like your own personal Christmas!
  17. Birthdays are incomplete without the ones who love and care for you.
  18. I’m not aging, I’m marinating.
  19. Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to at more cake.
  20. I can’t help being cute, I was born this way.

Funny Instagram Captions for Nature and Outdoors

  1. Going to the mountains is going home; that wild country whose abrupt ways may have had something to do with the avalanche.
  2. I’m not an early bird or a night owl. I’m some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
  3. Nature – cheaper than therapy.
  4. I’m the outdoorsy type. I like to drink on patios.
  5. The mountains are calling and I must go… to bed.
  6. It’s not the mountain we conquer, but the couch.
  7. I have a therapist, her name is nature.
  8. I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees… because I got lost and had to climb a tree to find my way out.
  9. I’m not lost. I’m exploring.
  10. The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship.
  11. I’m an introvert… I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky.
  12. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a lift pass.
  13. Into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul… and maybe a tree to nap under.
  14. I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
  15. Out on a hike, nature’s WiFi was giving me the best connection.
  16. I’m outdoorsy in that I like to get drunk on patios.
  17. Sky above, earth below, and peace within.
  18. Hike more, worry less.
  19. Not all classrooms have four walls.
  20. When life gives you mountains, put on your boots and hike.
  1. I’m on a whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already.
  2. I’m feeling quite over-trained for this hike.
  3. I’m lost in the woods – send chocolate.
  4. If you need me, I’ll be in the woods.
  5. Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
  6. It feels good to be lost in the right direction.
  7. I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.
  8. I’m in a committed relationship with my bed.
  9. Campfire, because therapy is expensive.
  10. Nature’s plan is to make you happier.
  11. There’s no time to be bored in a world as beautiful as this.
  12. I love places that make you realize how tiny you and your problems are.
  13. Over the river and through the woods, away from Wi-Fi, we go!
  14. Just another day in the woods.
  15. A walk in nature walks the soul back home.
  16. I got lost but I’m making good time.
  17. The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  18. I’m nature’s greatest miracle.
  19. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
  20. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to Instagram it, does it make a sound?

Funny Instagram Captions for Sports

  1. I’m not a player, I’m a gamer. Players get chicks, I get achievements.
  2. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  3. I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
  4. I do marathons. On Netflix.
  5. I go to the gym to watch TV and not feel guilty about it.
  6. I’m the major player in the minor leagues.
  7. I exercise by running my mouth and jumping to conclusions.
  8. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m winning.
  9. My favorite sport is tracking my online orders.
  10. I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  11. I hold the world record for most steps taken in a single day… all before I even get out of bed in the morning.
  12. Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
  13. I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m going to the gym to ignore all of them.
  14. I’m not on steroids, but thanks for asking.
  15. I only run if someone is chasing me.
  16. I’ve got athlete’s foot… from watching the game from the couch.
  17. I’m in a good place right now. Not emotionally. I’m just at the gym.
  18. I don’t run. And if you ever see me running, you should start running too because something is probably chasing me.
  19. My warm-up is your workout.
  20. I’m not sweating, I’m just glistening with success.
  1. I’m not playing hard to get, I’m playing hard to forget.
  2. I’m just here for the snacks.
  3. Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.
  4. I’m on a whiskey diet… I’ve lost three days already.
  5. I don’t sweat, I sparkle.
  6. I can’t run fast but I can out-sprint a chocolate bar.
  7. I’m not a fan of the gym, but I am a fan of what happens in the gym.
  8. My idea of a good call is one that ends with a reservation.
  9. The only running I do is running out of money.
  10. I like to call tennis ‘fancy badminton.’
  11. My doctor told me to take up an exercise that gets me out and about, so I started paying golf.
  12. I exercise religiously… once at Christmas and then again at Easter.
  13. I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days.
  14. I’ve been going to the gym for years… I wish I could find the exit.
  15. Yes, I do run like a girl. Try to keep up.
  16. I don’t do cardio because these colors don’t run.
  17. I’ve heard basketball is a contact sport, but every time I contact someone, the referee calls a foul.
  18. My idea of a workout is a good brisk sit.
  19. I run on caffeine, chaos, and cuss words.
  20. I’m not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Funny Instagram Captions for Fashion and Style

  1. I’m nicer when I like my outfit.
  2. Life isn’t perfect but your outfit can be.
  3. I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.
  4. I’m not a shopaholic, I’m helping the economy.
  5. Shopping is my cardio.
  6. I dress to distress.
  7. My daily routine: Get up, be amazing, go back to bed.
  8. I like my outfits to match my mood.
  9. Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
  10. Fashion is about something that comes from within you.
  11. I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.
  12. I can’t concentrate in flats.
  13. Life is short, make every hair flip count.
  14. Clothes aren’t going to change the world, the women who wear them will.
  15. I’ve been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear.
  16. I’m on a new diet called, “I paid for these clothes, so I’m going to wear them.”
  17. I dress as if I’m about to see my arch nemesis.
  18. Fashionably late, as usual.
  19. I don’t dress up for boys. I dress up to stare at my reflection as I walk by mirrors and windows.
  20. My look is attainable. Women can look like Audrey Hepburn by flipping out their hair, buying the large sunglasses, and the little sleeveless dresses.
  1. Fashion tip: if you can’t afford it, don’t try it on.
  2. Style is a reflection of your attitude and your personality.
  3. I don’t do fashion. I am fashion.
  4. When in doubt, overdress.
  5. Fashion is about dreaming and making other people dream.
  6. I’m a fashionably late kind of person.
  7. Life is a party, dress like it.
  8. I have enough clothes, said no one ever.
  9. I like fashion to go down to the street, but I can’t accept that it should originate there.
  10. Style is more about being yourself.
  11. My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
  12. I wish my wallet came with free refills.
  13. I own too much black – said no one ever.
  14. My fashion sense is a little whack, and my friends are always begging me to get a good stylist.
  15. Elegance is the only beauty that never fades.
  16. I’m not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy.
  17. I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I’m a woman but loose enough to show I’m a lady.
  18. I have a degree in retail therapy.
  19. Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life.
  20. I like my money where I can see it – hanging in my closet.
Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram. Instagram Caption

Funny Instagram Captions for Beach

  1. Beach, don’t kill my vibe!
  2. Let the sea set you free.
  3. I’ll have a side of the beach with my morning coffee.
  4. Keep palm and carry on.
  5. Beach days = best days.
  6. Beach hair, don’t care.
  7. I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.
  8. High tides, good vibes.
  9. I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
  10. I wonder if the beach misses me.
  11. Water you doing?
  12. The beach gives me porpoise.
  13. I followed my heart, it lead me to the beach.
  14. Mermaid kisses and starfish wishes.
  15. Life is better in bikini.
  16. I’m pretty sure my birthstone is a seashell.
  17. I believe in the sand beneath my toes.
  18. That crazy little sun of a beach!
  19. I want to be wild, beautiful, and free, just like the sea.
  20. Sandy toes, sun-kissed nose.
  1. Resting beach face.
  2. Beach, please!
  3. Seas the day.
  4. I’m an aquaholic.
  5. I’ve got sunshine on my mind.
  6. Tropic like it’s hot.
  7. Shell yeah!
  8. I need Vitamin Sea.
  9. Life’s a beach, enjoy the waves.
  10. Sun, sea, the sand, and me!
  11. Beach better have my money.
  12. Hot dogs or legs?
  13. I’m all about the palm trees and 80 degrees.
  14. Salt water heals everything.
  15. A pineapple a day keeps the worries away.
  16. Sea more of the world, one beach at a time.
  17. If you need me, call me on my shell.
  18. A bikini can’t solve everything, but it’s a good start.
  19. Ocean air, salty hair.
  20. I’m a true Oceaholic.

Do you need more? Read here: 333 Best Beach Captions for Instagram

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